I Mother Earth - Blacksox

I`m afraid of a sure thing of a change in the here 
and now and the force when it hits me the full weight of it when I`m down
The fucking air in the city when the phase-shifting sign is off 
if this ship is unsteady, how will that lifeboat hold us all
I aint gonna crawl->tell them all to forget it tell them that`s 
it then call it off cause I`m worried about money and paradigm 
stores running low
I ain`t gonna crawl but I`ll lie on the road
so how can I laugh how can I take it without some doubt 
how can I laugh how can I face it right away with everything gone wrong 
with everything all over anyway I need some grace
Say goodbye to aesthetic, 
better taste and essential self `cause I`m just tired of running 
and there`s a time bomb in this head
So just who`s the real killer and what made his paint dry? 
It`s kind of hard to imagine Holidays in Neurotica
A slap in the faith, hard, opened hand is the one reality 
I can never protect myself from, even in the sparkle yard at end 
of day warm summer madness in the bouquet of a dream son, 
astral projecting, failing to right wrongs when the whole thing 
starts to open up
I ain`t gonna crawl without falling hard, without some pain
whenever the fog breaks and a day takes hold 
I just can`t think straight right away maybe I`ll come around...
or not I`m swinging again and all my ex-friends say its psycho-pathetic 
and way too gone, almost painless even though I wondered 
if something was wrong all along.